We moved into a much larger house in December 2020. I now live on almost 3 acres, a big sledding hill in the backyard, the neighbors aren’t right next door, there’s space to not hear them.
In our previous home we were in the city, the houses were probably 20 feet apart at most and there were plenty of kids; one in particular was severely autistic and nonverbal, so his form of communication was screaming. I realize that he was only doing what he knew and his parents couldn’t do anything to stop it. I empathize and I believe his mother had the patience of a saint; she had 2 other boys younger than him. I am an introvert, I am very sensitive to sound, and I work from home (COVID ya know) so I could never open my windows during the day or sit outside on the weekends when they were outside, it was just too much for me. The neighbors behind us had a security light in the back of their house, it was on 24/7 and just put this spotlight on the back of my house. I couldn’t sit out on the deck at night without being practically blinded (yes, I’m exaggerating), there was no darkness to be had. So during the day I had sound sensory issues and at night I had light sensory issues. I lived this way for at least 5 years.
I moved into that house 20 years ago and it was just in the last 5-8 years that I wanted out. During this time we adopted our grandkids so we went from a house of 2 adults with room to spare (I had an office and a workout room) to a full house with 1 1/2 bathrooms and no sound barriers. You could say something in the kitchen and they’d hear you in the bedroom. I searched the real estate apps daily, it was part of my morning routine but I was so scared that we didn’t have enough equity (we refinanced – stupid move) we didn’t have a down payment (daycare for 2 kids was more than my house payment) and we had a lot of work to do that previously we didn’t have the money. A kitchen that needed countertops cabinets, and a garage ceiling that needed replaced, and plumbing that needed work and rooms needing paint. Ugh, all the things we never could afford to do just for us. But then there was a global pandemic. My company sent us all home to work, schools sent the kids home, daycare closed for all but the kids of essential workers so no daycare cost. Then the government decided we needed stimulus money 3 times and my company decided this would be a good time to give us our gainshare payout early (normally we get 75% of it in December right before Christmas and the remainder in February the following year after year end results are published). All of sudden we had money in savings.
J was considered essential because he works in a machine shop that makes parts for the military so both of us were still working. J’s a veteran so we decided to apply for a VA loan which requires no down payment and no mortgage insurance; we were approved for more than I expected. We saw one house that I thought would be the one, it shined like a star on the internet but when we got there, nope, it was a dud. The mortgage company assigned us an agent which was awesome because we didn’t have to find one on our own (she was fan-freaking-tastic).
One Thursday morning in early November I did my usual real estate search routine and a house popped up and I knew immediately. I got so excited, I was giddy, like dancing around my kitchen giddy. I texted it to J and to our agent. We saw the house the next day and I loved it. On the way home from the showing I kept thinking I don’t deserve this house, this is far beyond what I have ever expected and I cried because I just knew we would never get it. I didn’t deserve a house like this. I texted my daughters that and I said, I know this isn’t true but that’s what my brain keeps thinking.
All offers had to be in by Saturday. Immediately I knew we had to go $15,000 over asking, that’s what it was worth to me. We made an offer $15,000 over asking the next night and I told my agent I wanted to include a letter in the offer. Since the offers weren’t actually due until the next evening I was able to write a well constructed letter.
Everyone loves the “We adopted our grandkids” story, everyone thinks it makes us noble and self-sacrificing, I always think that’s bullshit. In this case I used that story to our advantage telling the owners how I wanted a better life for them and I could see them sledding down that hill in the winter. It was partially crap, I’m not that touchy-feely about kids; have I mentioned that I’m not the biggest fan of kids in general? I think, once or twice.
We were so anxious, deep down I was actually hoping we didn’t get the house because I was so scared it would backfire and we’d end up not having enough money and we wouldn’t be able to fix our house enough and it wouldn’t sell.
Sunday our agent called and said “are you sitting down?” I said I was even though I wasn’t, then went and sat down. “You got the house!” I was stunned! Wow. Did that release our anxiety? NO! It got worse. I think buying and selling homes is one of the most stressful and anxiety inducing situation there is behind death and divorce. She said it was the letter that did it; we weren’t even the highest offer. They liked the sledding part, and to be honest, I added that as an afterthought a day after I originally wrote the letter. I assume it’s because that’s what their kids did, they left a snowboard in the shed, I’m pretty sure it was purposely because that and a shelving unit were the only things in there when we moved in.
So, the shit that happened between then and when we moved in is just unimportant other than to say the stress was like a wave, one day I’m excited and dancing around, the next I’m scared to death and crying.
We overlooked a lot of things when we toured the house. Within a few months of moving in I realized it was a builder-grade house. Things are cheap as shit here, the closet doors don’t fit well, the floor is slanted upstairs in one certain spot and we don’t know why because there’s carpet and we’re not ready to remodel the floors. There weren’t any hooks or towel bars… I kept saying this is uncivilized; who lives without hooks to hang the kitchen towels on? Why are there no towel bars or hand towel rings in the bathrooms? Why are there no lights under the kitchen cabinets? Why are there no lights over the kitchen breakfast bar where I do all food prep? The ceiling fans are ugly and cheap. The main bathroom is super-tiny, the master bath shower is too small, J won’t take a shower in there because it’s just too small for him. And the fucking carpet! Ugh, I have a love/hate relationship with carpet, I love the feel of it under my feet, I hate the carpet/pet combination, and it’s everywhere except the bathrooms, kitchen and entry. The garage door opener. OMFG I had to press the button then close the door to the house because it was SO. FUCKING. LOUD! That was the first thing we replaced, it was obnoxious! The windows and patio doors had those plastic grids between the panes; when I put up horizontal blinds in the bathroom the windows looked like a spreadsheet. And many of them had broken seals so they were fogged in between the panes. The basement, though finished with a walkout, is ridiculously cold all the time. You can’t sit down there in the winter without a space heater.
That’s the bad. The good is: I fucking LOVE this place! I say this over and over especially in the spring, summer and fall. I had been living in the wrong place my entire life. I love it here. I love having my own bathroom. I love that everyone has their own room including J so he’s not taking over the basement as his bedroom meaning it’s a family space so I can send kids down there when they’re being loud. There’s a huge bonus room which B used as his bedroom until he moved in with his mom. In front of the bonus room is a bedroom which is where I keep the Peloton. We replaced the windows and patio door – NO GRIDS! Sitting on the front porch in the afternoon/evening (when it’s not hot because it faces west) is my love, it’s beautiful. Sitting on the deck in the back is my love, it’s beautiful. Watching the sun rise is my love, it’s beautiful. The trees are my love, they’re beautiful. Do you sense a theme here? Regardless of the stupid builder-grade finishes and the bullshit we’ve had to deal with (the stove needed replaced within 3 months, the furnace had to be replaced right before Thanksgiving) I’m so totally happy here
I got my dream!
try to ignore the mess 